American Culture

Ahoy! ‘Tis International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Twas back in dark days of ’95 when Cap’n Slappy and Ol’ Chumbucket, in a bucket o’ rum induced stupor known as racquetball, dreamed up Talk Like a Pirate Day as they were firin’ cannonades at each other. But like two gulls among the flock, their holiday seemed doomed to a fate worse than death – obscurity. But when, after toiling for years, they emailed the scurvy dog Dave Barry, hailing from the Miami Herald, and demanded that he pay tribute to their glorious holiday or walk the plank, he struck his colors from the mast in the heady year of ’02.

Seasons have come and gone, and Talk Like A Pirate Day has, thanks to the toil of Dave Barry and his band of cutthroats at the Herald, become International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

So, raise yer tankards o’ ale to the rigging, play a shanty and dance until ya can’t stand no more, run the ole Jolly Roger up the mast, and say it like ya mean it.


3 replies »

  1. What type of pirate are you? Take this short quiz:

    How would you complete this joke:
    “So, this pirate walks into a bar…”

    A) …wearing a paper towel on his head, and he sits down at the bar and orders some rum. The bartender then asks, “Why are you wearing a paper towel?”
    “Arrr…” says the pirate. “I’ve got a bounty on me head!”

    B) The bartender says “Excuse me, is that a ship’s wheel in the front of your pants?”
    To which the pirate replies “Aaargh, it’s driving me nuts!!”

    C) …and the bartender says, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!”
    “What ye mean?” the pirate replies, “I be fine.”
    The bartender says, “But what about that wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.”
    “Arrg,” says the pirate, “We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit me leg but the surgeon fixed me up.”
    “Yeah,” says the bartender, “But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands.”
    “Arrg,” says the pirate, “We were in another battle and hopped aboard the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and me hand was cut off but the doc fixed me up with this hook.”
    “Oh,” says the bartender, “What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes.”
    “Arr,” says the pirate, “One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in me eye.”
    “So?” replied the bartender, “what happened? You couldn’t have lost an eye just from some bird shit!”
    “Arr,” says the pirate, “I wasn’t used to the hook yet.”

    D) “Arrrrghh, that hurt!” he says.