“Expert” advice on how to survive multiple-city terror attacks: deploy psychic abilities

Scholars & Rogues presents a post by Guest Scrogue Darryl Mason. The veteran Australian blogger is creator of The Orstrahyun and Your New Reality and author of a Philip K. Dick biography.


The second biggest boom industry in the United States today, after the manufacturing of bombs, guns and bullets, is the “terror” industry – how to fight terrorists, how to catch terrorists, how to prepare for terrorist attacks and how to survive terrorist attacks.

The US spends tens of billions of dollars a year on “anti-terror”-related industries. It’s the new Cold War, and the fear-mongering is just as dire, overblown and hysterical.

“Experts” pumping out warnings, advice and propaganda in the press and on TV haven’t been this busy since the early 1980s. It’s boom time in the US right now, but since 9/11, thankfully, there haven’t been any real booms when it comes to terrorism.

There have, however, been literally hundreds of “warnings” issued via the White House, the Pentagon, the Department of Homeland Security, various think tanks, neocon cheerleaders and an endless parade of Middle East and terrorism “experts.”

There could be a terror attack next week. Next month. Next year.

The next time the US is hit it will be three attacks at once. Five attacks at once. Seven attacks at once.

They’ll hit the US with anthrax. With dirty bombs. With stolen Russian nukes. With Chinese nukes. With Pakistani nukes. With suitcase nukes.

The War on Terror will take years. The War on Terror will take decades. Lifetimes. Generations. A century.

If you follow all this in the American media closely, you can and should be forgiven for not taking it all too seriously, after a while. And Americans, in the majority, are burned out on terror warnings. They now fear having their homes taken away by the banks, and their children’s future taken away by global warming, more than they fear a terrorist attack.

Which is why the “experts” are probably sounding so desperate in their warnings now.

Desperate, and scared, that not only will Americans be unprepared when a terrorist attack comes, but scared that the gravy train of anti-terror funding may soon dry up.

As one prominent Republican recently stated, what America needs right now is another major terrorist attack.

The good news in the bad news, then, is this terror expert claims an “event” is not only “imminent,” it could happen “tomorrow, or it could happen in the next few months. Ninety days at the most.”

Ninety days at the most? That’s three whole months away. Do we hear sixty days? Do we hear thirty days? Going, going…

But that’s old news. Everyone from President Bush to Bill O’Reilly fans knows a terror attack is “imminent.”

Forget the crumbling infrastructure that leads to catastrophic and deadly bridge collapses, something might blow up… besides New York steam pipes. More terror of the collapsing infrastructure.

Attacks are coming, but how to survive them?

The Fox News “terror expert” offers up a new option of terrorism avoidance that we’ve never seen mentioned before. Deploy your psychic abilities (emphases mine):

If your gut feeling tells you when you walk onto a bus there is something unusual or suspicious, get out and walk away. You may do it 10 times for no reason, but there will be one time that saves your life. Let your sixth sense direct you.

I see terror people.

And some more valuable advice from the expert :

Try to break your routine. If you travel during rush hour every day, try to get up a little earlier and drive to work or take the train when it’s still not full. Don’t find yourself every day in the midst of rush hour. Terrorists are not going to waste a bomb on a half-empty train.

19 terrorists wasted their lives on four half empty planes on 9/11.

Naturally, this Fox News terror expert seems to know more about the “imminent” terror attacks on the United States than the White House, the FBI, the CIA or the Department of Homeland Security is willing to disclose.

Not a terror attack. Multiple terror attacks:

What they’re going to do is hit six, seven or eight cities simultaneously to show sophistication and really hit the public. This time, which is the message of the day, it will not only be big cities. They’re going to try to hit rural America. They want to send a message to rural America: “You’re not protected. If you figured out that if you just move out of New York and move to Montana or to Pittsburgh, you’re not immune. We’re going [to] get you wherever we can and it’s easier there than in New York.”

This Fox News “terror expert” claims one minute that terrorists are not going to “waste a bomb” on a half-filled train, and a minute later he claims they are going to hit low population centres in rural America?

Al-Qaeda wants to blow up your tractor.

Consider yourself warned.

x-post: Your New Reality

8 replies »

  1. Beautiful post, Darryl.

    What this administration (and its minions at Faux News) seeks to do is substitute fear for the other emotions Americans are feeling these days – depression at the Iraq debacle, disappointment that we were stupid enough to allow this to happen to us, disillusionment that our leaders would use 9/11 as an excuse to enrich themselves and impose their corporatocratic regime on us, and anger at an administration that has been willing to use any kind of lie, mis-direction, and subversion of justice to consolidate its power.

    So all they do is tell us to be afraid while they loot this country….

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  3. One thing I forget to mention in the post is that the ‘terror expert’ does supply one valuable bit on ‘Surviving A Terror Attack’ advice : carry a towel.

    Douglas Adams was right.

    Look, there’s nothing funny about terrorism. But these ‘experts’ never shut up with their 1 day, 30 day, 90 warnings. Plus, they always have a book they’re trying to plug when they’re warning of our imminent destruction.

  4. Brilliant post, Darryl. Carry a towel, indeed. That Douglas Adams was effing prescient. Maybe he was the first terrorist psychic? Well, him and Huxley, and Feolding, and Orwell, and Tolkein and Asimov and sh*t… those authors are damned terrorists! Hahahahaha.

    Thanks for the laughs.