Once upon a time there were great children’s books
If you’ve never read Neverending Story, or the Narnia series, or the Tripods series by John Christopher, or anything by Terry Pratchett (most especially the Tiffany Aching series), or … or …
There are lots, and more are being written all the time but: move over kiddies, it’s Harry Potter time.
There is only one guarantee about this (hopefully) final instalment in the series. It’ll be the thickest book of the lot. JK Rowling is of the school of business that believes you can trick people into believing they’re having a great experience by increasing the amount of it available.
This is used by dud restaurants which fill plates to overflowing and rock bands of little worth who insist on epic guitar solos. They hope you’re fooled.
Harry Potter is the most successful children’s book of all time. It has outclassed everything. Its banal dialogue and trivial plotting recall the hohum drivel of George Lucas and witty banter so absent from the Star Wars series. It is founded on daytime soap opera and the people who find it obsessive viewing.
Can you imagine a collaboration between Lucas and Rowling? Imagine what it would be about?
“A long time ago in a private school for wizards far away …” It would be filled with absurd weaponry that never seem to have any real power, stupid plot diversions that are left abandoned, ranting dialogue full of words and without meaning, and obvious red-herrings we need to ignore.
It would even have a famous scene where our hero confronts the evil masked villain to hear, “Harry, Harry, I am your father!”
Oh, wait. Maybe they already did?
(Harry Potter and the Pile of Drivel will be released on 21 July. No, we are not linking to it.)