After days of leaks coming from the Obama transition team, the President-elect has reportedly decided to go the path of least resistance, embracing the enlarged prostate flow of chatter with the new cabinet position of Leakmaster General.

Former Clinton administration officials involved in the transition, who declined to give their names because “that would kind of spoil a leak,” say the Leakmaster General’s duties will be to deliver all leaks, however nonsensical, through a central command — the Office of Leaks, Gossip and Utter Horseshit (OLGUH).